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Being gentle with ourselves

Hello my friend, the last few weeks the consistent energy throughout all my clients has been an overwhelming sense of guilt and self aimed shame for decisions, changes and lack of drive to accomplish tasks.

First let's look at why we feel we need to be perfect and make only correct decisions. Unless you are making life or death decisions, there is room for error. Sure someone might be frustrated or tell you they are disappointed - that's on them, they are allowed to have their feelings. Their feelings don't define you as good or bad, it's a definition of their emotional response.

Let's step back, look at what you were trying to accomplish. Was it necessary? Was the goal realistic and measurable? If it's necessary, realistic and measurable, can you move things around to try again? This time going in calmly and with tools to accomplish, taking into consideration why you were unable to accomplish it last time. Do you require backup? Some guidance or assistance from someone with experience? If so, reach out.

When a child is learning to walk, feed themselves or any other fundamental lessons, we give them grace and joyfully celebrate the little successes. Most folks won't shame a child for not learning the first try. Please give yourself the same grace.

What if the decision or goal wasn't necessary, let's look at that. Who put the decision on you? Can you advise them that you will not be taking it on? Until you are confident enough to say no when new decisions/goals are presented, you can get comfortable with changing your mind. No explanation required other than you are "no longer able to take it on, thank you".

I struggle with saying no and letting others down - even if they never really asked, I just volunteered. Perhaps we can learn this together?

Let me know in the comments how you do.

Til next time, stay true to you Little One ❤️

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