Over my near 50 years on this beautiful blue ball, I have learned that (1) The Universe (a.k.a. God, Allah, Yaweh, Odin, Nemain, you get my point) has a general idea of why I'm here, as a human, where I am. (2) I seem to think I know different & (3) It hurts harder each time I'm reminded to let go and be with said Universe.
So here I am, living life, making decisions based on what others say and dealing with disappointing results. Now, I love and adore who I am, my close family and friends, my life partner and many of my acquaintances. As well, I love the skill set I've acquired, the scars earned and the lessons accumulated. The results are reminders to my "self" that all this is irrelevant to my purpose.
Now to be IN my boredom, be IN my truth, be IN my experience moment by moment - to LET GO of cemented goals, LET GO of old trauma (and the internal dialogue they created), LET GO of defining my being based on all this and the opinions of others. My friends, this is the hardest thing I've done....the letting go, the being present, quieting the busy'ness without alcohol.
I am worth all this. The clarity it allows is addictive - I feel a belonging in that clarity.